I was lost in Translation
When she asked for a dance
Said she was from America
Might as well have been France
We tried to do the dabkeh
Couldn’t hit the right stance
We tried to do the tango
Didn’t have the right pants
Too droopy
My head too loopy
She had me in a trance
Unimpressed though by my parlance
Foxtrotted off
Thought I had no chance
No attempting redemption
Alas I stand...
Corrected?
Scribbling digits up on a napkin
Passing it to me
Saying yo let’s make this happen again
She thought my dance moves just needed some practicing
Plus she had heard Damascus was full of passionate men
I’m like — yep that’s true!
None more than I
Naturalized citizen
Not some foreign guy
What I lack in experience
I make up for in cologña
Where you going ya 2amarrr (Moon)
Wayn? (Where)
I’d love to join ya

Not Patagonia ... too cold
Not Macedonia ... too old
Lets move to California
To Southern California
Not Bora Bora ... too far
Not Tora Bora ... too hard
Lets move to California
To Southern California

3am bit 2illo “Come ... Come wiz me, Come.” x 2
Huwweh bil3arabi ma bya3rif thilth al-3ashara kam!
eh ma ba3ref
Huwweh bil3arabi ma bya3rif thilth al-3ashara kam!
lak shu bi 3arrifnee

3arabi Mamas be Like
“It isn’t gonna last”
3arabi Mamas be Like
“You’re moving too fast”
3arabi Mamas be Like
“Are you really trying to be with her?”
3arabi Mamas be Like
”What exactly do you see in her?”

I see my whole future
Spouse, couple of mixed kids
Hillside house, palm trees, & a big staircase
That can take me way up to my happy place
Damascene domesticated
California caliphate / Call of Fate.
What.

Not Patagonia ... too cold
Not Macedonia ... too old
Lets move to California
To Southern California
Not Bora Bora ... too far
Not Tora Bora ... too hard
Lets move to California To Southern California

3am bit 2illo “Come ... Come wiz me, Come.” x 2
Huwweh bil3arabi ma bya3rif thilth al-3ashara kam!
eh ma ba3ref
Huwweh bil3arabi ma bya3rif thilth al-3ashara kam!
lak shu bi 3arrifnee

* Translation / Explanation of Chorus:

She’s telling him to Come
“Come with me, Come.” (كم / “Kam” means “How Much?” in Arabic)
But he doesn’t even know how much 1/3 of 10 is!
I don’t know!
He doesn’t even know how much 1/3 of 10 is!
Well how am I supposed to know!?

— Los Angeloose (Hidden Track)

* A Poetic recitation of Elia Abu Madi’s Arabic poem “Los Angeles”, written in 1948 upon his first & only visit to Southern California for a party in his honor — hosted by the local Syrian / Lebanese community ... Performed by Omar Offendum, featuring Guitar + Organ accompaniment by Ronnie Malley.

أنا لست في دنيا الخيال ولا الكرى ... و كأنّني فيها لروعة ما أرى
ياقوم هل هذي حقائق أم رؤى ... وأنا؟ أصاح أم شربت مخدرا؟
لا تعجبوا من دهشتي وتحّيري ... وتعجبواإن لم أكن متحيرا
كيف التفت رأيت آية شاعر ... لبق تعّمد أن يجيد ليبهرا
مسحت بإصبعها الحياة جفونه ... فرأى المحاسن، فانتقى وتخيرا
ما ”لوس انجلوس“ سوى أنشودة ... الله غنّاها فجن لها الورى